the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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