We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
