Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Actions speak louder than pants.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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