Im at strip club and am horny
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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