Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
