I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
