apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
