Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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