I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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