yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
