Umm I'm too high to move.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Randomize
