Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
