not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
