i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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