It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
