i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
