the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
