I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
