Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
