I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
