she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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