big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
