butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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