please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
two words...techno handjob
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
