and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
