just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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