How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
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I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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