Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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