Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
