I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
