Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
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