It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
