I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
