I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
