What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
