Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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