y did u give ur computer a hand job?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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