Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
