remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
third nipple confirmed
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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