Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
