My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
