I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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