you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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