I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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