Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
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He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
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If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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