saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
