You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize