She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
