So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize