kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
