I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
