I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Still dying that you shit outside
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize