better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
