Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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