There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
