i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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