Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize