It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
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The beers last night were like the tears from god
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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