You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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