I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
