dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
