Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
