i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
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First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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