Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
