He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
