Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
