The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
