Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
