Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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