Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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